How to Send a Reed to Heaven

OCD shows up in the craziest ways, my closet is messy, my binders a mess, but by golly I have a beautiful looking reed when I play. Nothing gets on my nerves more than people around me playing on terrible reeds. Without a reed, there is no chance of producing a sound, making it the most crucial part of the instrument. Do middle-schoolers get that? No. Even some high-schoolers don’t get it. 

The first time that I worked with one of my students he came in with a nice big chip right on the edge of the tip. Our first lesson? How to send a reed to heaven. After explaining that there’s no way a reed will play correctly if it is cracked or chipped, I asked him if he had a name for it and if he knew how to send it to heaven. When he shook his head no to both answers I took the reed and named it “Bob.” Then I looked at him straight in the eye and drove the tip into the metal music stand in front of me, the result being a deformed little hunk of reed. I have never seen a student’s eyes get as big as his did after I did that! Since “Bob” was “no longer with us,” I gently placed it on the palm of my student’s hand. We looked at it sadly for a moment and I told him that he can conduct the “funeral” in any way he sees fit.

I also have a high school bari sax player that I see almost every week. His tone was sounding a little fuzzy so I asked him to show me his reed. There were the tell-tale little mold spots all over the flat part on the back. He always had a good reed after my story. If you are frustrated with the quality of students’ reeds, tell them this story and they will keep their reeds in mint condition! Story time!

A band director was preparing her band to go to concert and sight reading contest. During one rehearsal her bari sax player couldn't get a sound out. The first thing she had him do was take off the reed and show it to her, but after struggling for a few moments it was apparent that the reed was stuck to the mouthpiece. He had not taken it off for about a month. Once he did get the reed off, both the student and the director were horrified to see long, black, hairy mold and little white creatures wiggling on the reed. The student managed to contain his shock long enough to ask if he could buy a new reed, but the director looked at him and whispered to him to put it back on the mouthpiece and play until the end of rehearsal. Wide eyed student seemed to turn a slight shade of green as he walked back, but he managed to survive rehearsal without seeing is lunch again.

           

If that is not creepy and disgusting enough motivation for any student to take care of their equipment, I don’t know what is! Ever since then I can’t stand to see bad reeds, much less one that is starting to show signs of mold. Must be my OCD taking over again...